I’m not too sure what to make of this…

I recently posted an entry concerning a Lego artist and his amazing creations. I happened to mention that, as a young teenager, I once created a “working” Lego machine gun. It “worked” in the sense that I hooked up a Lego Expert Builder set’s motor to it: when you turned it on, it would shoot little Lego pieces out.

Yes, I was a weird kid.

It now appears, however, that I was not alone in this particular weirdness. I discovered a website that actually sells Lego guns…and yeah, it’s as creepy as it sounds. Seriously, look at the picture. From any significant distance away, a police officer would unquestionably think it was the real thing. So weird…

Yet so cool! Sigh, I guess I’m weird as an adult as well.

OK, the thing is, it doesn’t even matter that I stand fully opposed to the NRA, the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, Charlton Heston, and anyone else who believes that possessing the ability to commit 6 or more murders in the space of 6 or fewer seconds should for some reason be regarded as a human right. It really doesn’t matter…there is this annoying little boy in me says, “Lego guns are awesome!”

When I was a kid, my mom desired to keep all knowledge of weapons from me. I wasn’t going to be one of those little kids with the cap guns and the army guys and a BB gun…except that I was (except for the BB gun). My dad has told me that anything in the basic outline shape of a handgun would suddenly become my toy gun, including bent sticks, elbow joints, the warp nacelle off of my model of the starship Enterprise…anything.

I grew up in the eighties, the age of Rambo, Miami Vice, The A-Team, and perhaps worst of all, G.I. Joe. Keeping boys from idolizing weapons can be a difficult task when they see Mr. T shoot thousands of rounds a minute and somehow, no one ever dies. Of course, I don’t really know if things are any better or worse in the post-Columbine era. It seems like dinosaurs and guns have always been a little boy’s best imaginary friends.

Brickgun.com has a FAQ which tries to address the ethical implications of their Lego handguns:

Isn’t it wrong to make guns out of Lego? What about the children?

First, while we do create the most realistic guns ever made using Lego, we didn’t invent the concept of making guns from Lego. Our lead designer distinctly remembers his first daycare having a policy of “No Lego gun building allowed”. That was over 30 years ago, so obviously Lego has been used to make guns since its inception.

Second, our kits aren’t bought by children, they are too complicated for a child to build, especially if the child is so young that he/she doesn’t know any better. If someone has the money to buy one of our kits and the mental capacity to assemble it (or has a Lego collection extensive enough to only buy our instructions and then build the model themselves) then they should be mature enough to know not to go waving it around in public.

The FAQ doesn’t really address the ethical issues involved. Their online kits are probably not being bought by children themselves, but I can think of a few fathers I know in western Pennsylvania who would not hesitate to purchase a Lego “IMI Desert Eagle” for junior and his friends to play with. The issue of having the “mental capacity to assemble it” is also a non-starter, (did I mention that I built a working Lego machine gun when I was a teenie bopper?)

What is interesting, though, is the part about the daycare rule from 30 years ago. There is a certain irony here: Lego (used to?) have a non-violence policy regarding its toys, but they were almost as disingenuous about weapons as BrickGun.com is. I remember the pieces from the space sets that were supposed to be antenna and spaceman’s tools, but which nevertheless looked a whole lot like guns when placed into the little Lego spaceman’s hands.

In any event, I have to confess that I think these damn Lego guns look cool. Fortunately, my current poverty will keep me an honest liberal and prevent me from buying one.

P.S. Hey, check out this awesome wiki: http://brickwiki.org/

P.P.S. My brother-in-law Chris felt that I wasn’t linking to enough cool stuff that I like, so here are some links to the Greatest LEGO Sets Ever Made (I owned all of these at one time):

• Space Command Center, (1978)
• Alpha-1 Rocket Base, (1979)
• Beta-1 Command Base, (1980)
• Galaxy Explorer, (1979)
• Starfleet Voyager, (1981)
• Mobile Rocket Transport, (1982)

Here are a few that I don’t remember having, but man they look cool:

• Galaxy Commander, (1983)
• Intergalactic Command Base, (1984)
• Cosmic Fleet Voyager, (1986)
• Polaris-I Space Lab, (1987)

Cheers.

Filed under: Lego, Weird & Wonderful